In Psalm 37:4, David says, “Delight yourself in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart.” It took me nearly 28 years to truly make the Lord my delight and to surrender all of my wishes to Him, but when I finally did, it was worth it.

This year in June, the Lord helped me surrender my longing since childhood to be married. He brought me to the point where I said, “Lord, I’m willing to go wherever You want to take me, and though I believe marriage is Your will for me, I have no guarantee that it isn’t 20 years hence, so I’ll step forward, put my ‘yes’ on the table, and go to the peoples with Your glory.” That began the journey with a long-term sending organization to take the gospel to unreached peoples in the Middle East.

Then in September, I was blessed to go to the other East (Asia) to engage with university students and share the wonderful news of God’s grace through Jesus Christ. One of our trip leaders was a certain young woman named Susie. Throughout the trip, beginning in the airport stateside, the Lord seemed to cause our paths and conversations to harmonize, even though we each were honestly trying to set this unexpected drama aside so as not to be distracted on our mission (the Lord was so good to make that possible, though my journal entries were packed with my heart’s wrestlings over this godly girl).

In God’s unmistakable providence, He already had Susie moving down from Minnesota (her home until September 29th) to Dallas to work more closely at the e3 ministry offices here. That week between the end of the trip and her arrival here saw a deluge of prayer pouring forth from both of our hearts. “Lord, what are You doing in all of this?”… “Could this be the one for whom my heart has longed?”… “What does this mean for where You have been leading me long-term?”…

Sunday, October 2nd, Susie and I went for a walk and settled under a lamppost on a street corner in the neighborhood. I originally had a flow of things to say, but it all seemed to escape me, so I started with what I knew to be true. I told her of the godly virtues I saw within her–how she feared the Lord, prayed with great faith, showed remarkable kindness and grace to all around her, loved the Lord first, desired to take His truth to the peoples, and of course, how breathtakingly beautiful she was (and is). I’m sure other things fell in between, but I finished by asking if she would like to enter an intentional relationship of pursuing the Lord together with the understood destination of marriage.

Susie responded with a statement and a question. She said that she was Christ’s first, to which I fully agreed. Then she asked what I thought about martyrdom and going to a country and people where it was a real possibility. I told her that I thought it was the best way to exit this life and go to be with the Lord and that I was (and am) all in. Many more words followed as the planners in us took a few steps forward and talked through what this would look like, but as we walked away from the lamppost, hand in hand, we took on the titles, “boyfriend” and “girlfriend”.

In the days that followed, our gracious Lord and Father surprised us over and over again with all the little details and intricacies which He had been crafting in our lives across the years. We continued walking together, talking together, cooking together (definitely a sign of someone special in my life!), and opening our hearts to begin dreaming together…

I’ve never been one to take long with figuring out whether something might work in a relationship, and this was no exception. I kept looking for that “thing” that would tell me it wasn’t going to work or that I needed to draw my heart back in, but I never found it. I just saw grace and beauty and a heart devoted to the Lord in everything we did. So on October 8th, I told Susie what my heart had been saying since that first walk–”I love you.” I knew it was quick and I didn’t have any expectation of her returning in kind, but I wanted to step out in vulnerability and let her know where I was. She said, “thank you” and we smiled and continued talking.

A week later, we were cooking and dancing in the kitchen of our dear friend, Linda. I can’t remember what the song was, but I think was probably singing along with it to Susie when she exclaimed, “I love you!” It took me a second for it to register and really, it wasn’t the words themselves but the surprise on her face that told me something epic had just happened. Then it hit me–Susie loves me! I picked her up and spun her around as our I love you’s poured forth. Hearts aren’t used to holding how much joy we each felt in that moment. It was bliss.

The next day, we lined up plane tickets to visit Susie’s parents in Idaho at the first of November. I think it was then that the only conversation about rings took place, though she was gracious to lend me her Minnesota girls for input from afar. That took a load off of me as I really wanted to make sure I picked something that was perfectly Sue. I also slipped her ring onto my pinky finger to figure out her size. I thought I was being sly, but she silently noticed :).

By Tuesday of that week, I had looked at literally several hundred rings online, and on Wednesday, I went into the store to see them in person and narrow them down. Two stood out so I sent pictures to Susie’s friends and awaited their thoughts. The logical side of me was leaning one way, but my heart knew which one was right. The girls quickly affirmed that and the next day, the transaction took place–I could pick it up the following Monday (October 24).

That weekend, we made a little debut to the online world through a set of pictures taken at the Dallas Arboretum with some wonderful friends and family here. Our lives continued to merge, day by day, through the normal things of life and as we began working through a pre-marital workbook. Did I mention that we’re both planners?

Nearing the present, this past weekend we flew up to Idaho for a delightful weekend with Susie’s parents. We talked for hours on end, shared deliciously cooked/baked/stewed meals, and watched as the Lord wove our hearts together. The Lord even gave us an extra evening with them as our flight back to Dallas was delayed and pushed to Monday (November 7th). I left Idaho with a new Mom and Dad. And Mom, before we left the house for the airport early Monday morning, gave me a hug and quietly whispered, “when you figure out when you are going to propose, if you can let me know, I’ll try to get a flight down to be there and celebrate. Do you know when you are planning to ask her?” I smiled and replied, “tomorrow” :). Needless to say, a flight didn’t exactly happen, but Skype was ready to help cross the miles.

Continue reading: Part 2 ~ The Proposal…